Author Archive

Petro Wagner

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Petro Wagner is a work-from-home mommy of two princesses and a limited-edition dog. She has a Master’s degree and further training in Play Therapy, backed by an impressive knowledge of all the Heidi episodes; knowing the lyrics to endless nursery songs; and having personally met Sleeping Beauty in her real castle in Germany.

Education and training are central to the modern, Western world. We go to school, invest in vocational equipping, and attend workshops to perfect our crocheting or to learn the art of home brewing. Within this culture of knowledge and skill accumulation, parenting is also increasingly deemed a worthy enough subject in which to receive training – hence the overwhelming ocean of parenting resources: from articles and books to DVDs and TV shows to workshops and courses! Ever heard people complain, “Kids don’t come with a manual!”? They lie. Kindly point them to the Internet or any given bookshop. 

So, should parents “go to school”? There are many good reasons why we should consider it!

“Discipline” has received swearword status in many modern parenting circles. It is now quite trendy to withdraw from being the disciplinary figure in favour of being a child’s friend. While this is mostly well intended (and evokes wonderful images of parent and child roaming around like Calvin and Hobbes all day), it can be harmful to both parties.

Imagine you came to a traffic light that flickered red-orange-green-red-orange-green. You’d probably be confused (Should I go or stop!?), and possibly anxious (What if I crash? I may be stuck here forever!). 

The same process is likely to happen to our children if they receive mixed signals from their primary caretakers. Just like the faulty robot in the example leaves it up to you to decide when it’s safe to go, your child will also need to figure it out on her own. And “crashing” may be the result. 

All of us hate red lights (Just my luck!), but there’s nothing like the stress caused by a broken robot to make us appreciate a light turning red when it needs to. There’s safety in this mechanism. Likewise, there’s protection in receiving clear-cut messages at home – even if it’s “no!”

Premature

Having a premature baby is not something most mothers expect when they are expecting.

In most cases, there is not merely a premature baby struggling to survive, but also “premature” parents who feel unprepared for the sudden and overwhelming challenges of having a baby – and a highly fragile one needing specialised care.

I have spoken to several mothers who had prems. Following is a summary of their stories of bravery amid the ordeal.

“My kids drive me crazy!”

This is something most of us have said or thought at some point while feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting. Yet, many mothers stare more severe psychological problems (particularly postpartum depression) in the face and will need professional help to overcome this obstacle. 

As mothers, we should all invest in our mental wellbeing by caring not only for everyone in our family but for ourselves too. In the spirit of Mental Health Awareness Month, let us consider various wellbeing protective mechanisms we should all try to build into our lives.

Second-time mom

Congratulations on your second pregnancy!

Wondering what lies ahead – besides a couple of extra stretch marks, additional lost sleep and, of course, the cutest, new baby? Here are some things I’ve learned that might help you prepare yourself and your family for Number Two.

Is your marriage taking a back-seat?

Marriage is the bedrock of the family. If this foundation is crumbling, so will the entire household that is built upon it. As busy and exhausted parents, we often tend to prioritise our children when it comes to our time, energy, resources and emotional capacity. While giving your best to your kids is surely important to their optimal development, we should never forget that “the best” includes having them grow up in a stable home with the example of a flourishing marital relationship. Prioritising your children and prioritising your marriage are therefore not competing interests, but two sides of the same coin.

Yet, we understand that with small, really needy children in the home it is not easy to keep the romantic fires burning. Marital sacrifices (like drastically reduced alone time) are inevitable. However, these restrictions could luckily be mitigated by the mutual joys and suffering created by co-parenting – provided that you keep connected during this season.

Being a mother is a beautiful, but often bizarre experience that could at times defy reason. On Planet Parenthood a number of phenomena do not work according to conventional logic. Can you relate to these…?

1. Maths doesn’t add up for mothers.

You spend 80% of your time cleaning and tidying, but your home remains 100% messy.

Temperament - Foster their uniqueness

Foster your Munchkin’s uniqueness

Nurturing a child according to his temperament is immensely important. It aids in shaping their unique potential while preventing unnecessary damage and conflict. Yet, no two kids are exactly the same and neither are any two sets of parents.

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