“Discipline” has received swearword status in many modern parenting circles. It is now quite trendy to withdraw from being the disciplinary figure in favour of being a child’s friend. While this is mostly well intended (and evokes wonderful images of parent and child roaming around like Calvin and Hobbes all day), it can be harmful to both parties.

Imagine you came to a traffic light that flickered red-orange-green-red-orange-green. You’d probably be confused (Should I go or stop!?), and possibly anxious (What if I crash? I may be stuck here forever!). 

The same process is likely to happen to our children if they receive mixed signals from their primary caretakers. Just like the faulty robot in the example leaves it up to you to decide when it’s safe to go, your child will also need to figure it out on her own. And “crashing” may be the result. 

All of us hate red lights (Just my luck!), but there’s nothing like the stress caused by a broken robot to make us appreciate a light turning red when it needs to. There’s safety in this mechanism. Likewise, there’s protection in receiving clear-cut messages at home – even if it’s “no!”

“Grandparents” and “grandchildren” are two well-coined terms, as few relationships in life are so “grand” than the one between these two parties. However, for the parents sandwiched in the middle, this connection can sometimes pose “grand” challenges that may even result in conflict between the senior and junior adults.

Yet, if everyone involved is respectful, willing to compromise and able to focus on the privileges of the situation, the grandparent-grandchild bond could greatly enrich all three generations. To help with this, consider following the ABC for grandparents and parents below.

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