Entitlement vs gratefulness

September 1, 2014

By Timann Esterhuizen

Ways of making a child feel entitled:

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  • Buy him everything he wants.„„
  • Make sure both siblings have everything exactly the same.„„
  • Be sure to respond to ‘It’s not fair!’ by giving in or equalising the „„ situation.
  • Buy everyone presents on birthdays.„„
  • Have a ‘Whatever I do for the one, I MUST do for the other one’ „„ mentality.
  • Buy ’things’ to replace spending time together.„„ Give in to whining/pleading/nagging/tantrums.„„
  • Show your child you feel guilty.„„
  • Allow your child to manipulate you.„„
  • Manipulate your child instead of disciplining him.„„

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How is entitlement portrayed at different ages?

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How is gratefulness portrayed at different ages?

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The following are the genuine needs that should be satisfied by parents at each stage:

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(For more on boundaries: Boundaries with Kids by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. See references, page 305.)

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